Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I cockslap morals
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
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haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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