she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
