Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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