So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
