He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
