I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
