I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
