Dual....:-)
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
