Sry I called you an 8
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
cat food counts as protein by the way
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
