he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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