3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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