just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
