Dual....:-)
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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