My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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