member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
