Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
