Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
