I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
