me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize