I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Never joke about your clitoris.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
