Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize