dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
