is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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