omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
