can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
