therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
