one word: firstdatebathroomanal
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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