I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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