Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize