You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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