Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
