he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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