Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
we're making bets on your personal life
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
