I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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