I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
