well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
