I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
