where does the pee come out of this thing
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
