So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
and she was petting her beer can
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
