Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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