I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
