Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize