I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
