I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
