does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
