I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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