i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
