You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
