After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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