Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
