I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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