I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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