which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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