no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
