you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
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Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
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When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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