I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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