I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
foreskin is a definite game changer
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
