Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize