its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Dick very happy bro
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
