the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
