Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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