So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
