can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
