I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize