I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize