Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
